Joke and Funny SMS; all new Short Messages Collections... - Page 11 - BZU PAGES: Find Presentations, Reports, Student's Assignments and Daily Discussion; Bahauddin Zakariya University Multan

**Raheel** · #**101** 26-04-2010, 08:53 PM

How to grow up a baby to make it absolutely honest, loveable, funny, loyal and an extremely intelligent Kid ?
.
.
.
Ask My Parents..

****

Angel said: I can't be everywhere to help you, so i created MOTHER..

Devil replied: Me too can't be everywhere so i created MOTHER IN LAW....

****

Someone wrote on the door,
"Please do not enter, I am Upset."

Friends came smiling and said, "Sorry we are Illiterate."

****

Yesterday i was clever so i wanted to change the world..

But today i am wise so i am changing my self..

****

**momna gull** · #**102** 28-04-2010, 10:16 AM

IMPORTANCE OF PERCENTAGE

BOY-tumhare 12th me kitney percentage the?
GIRL-97%

BOY-Baap re
Itney me to kisi gareeb k 2 bacche pass ho jate

**Raheel** · #**103** 07-05-2010, 08:17 PM

If you find a friend better than me,

Go Ahead,

I will not stop you,

But..

If that friend leaves you,

Look behind i will be there 2 say..

"HOGAYEE IZZAT"

----------

Dr: Mareez ki naak main ungli daal ker betha tha..

Kisi nay poocha yeh kiya ker rahay hain.

Dr: Mareez ko Ulti kerwa raha hoon.

Magar Kesay ?

Dr: Ab yeh ungli is kay moun main daloonga.

----------

Interesting fact of Life...

The Longest minutes in the World are the last 5 minutes of a LECTURE,

While the shortest 5 minutes are the last 5 minutes of Exams..

----------

Ek sacha Waqiya....

Jisay sun ker insan ki rooh kaanp uthay!
Magar zalimo kay hath tak na kaanpay!

Lahore main 3 saal ki masoom bachi, Jisay abhi tak theek say bolna bhi nahi ata tha, Jo din us kay khailnay koodnay kay thay,

Us kay Baap or Zaalim chacha nay zaberdasti paker ker..

SCHOOL BHEJ DIYA...

**Raheel** · #**104** 14-05-2010, 01:57 PM

Kabhi Kabhi main sochta hoon, mainay zindagi main kiya kamaya ?
Paisa ?
No,

Name ?
No,

Shohrat ?
No,

But ek cheez friendz.. Woh bhi ek say barh ker ek "DRAMAYBAZ"..

****

Husband: Begum! kiya khana abhi tayar nahi howa ?
Begum: Nahi bus thori dair baqi hay..

Husband: Theek hay main bahir say kha leta hoon.
Wife: Bus 5 min ruk jayen..

Husband: 5 min main khana tayar ho jayega ?
Wife: Nahi main tayar ho jaongi..

****

Boy was following a girl..

Girl: Why are you following me ?
Boy: You are very pretty and i think i am in love with you..

Girl: But you have not met my friend yet.. she is prettier than me and is right behind you..
Boy looks there is no one...
Girl: If you really loved me you would not have looked behind..

Moral:
True Love is rare... Respect it when you get it!

****

2 Bachon ki maa teesri dafa shadi ker rahi thi..

Nikkah kay waqt chota bacha ronay laga..

Maa usay chup keratay howay: Chup ho jao werna agli dafa sath nahi laungi..

****

Girl: Papa ek larka mujhay bar bar I Love You kehta hay.. Kiya kerun ?
Father: Baiti! us say shadi ker lo, zindagi main agar doobara bol de to mera nam badal lena..

****

Bacha (Dukandar say): Uncle ap kay pass Safeguard Sabun hay ?
Dukandar: Han hay..

Bacha: Hath dho ker 1 rupee wali QULFI dena..

****

Ek shadi main Dulhun ka pehla Mangaitar bhi saj dhaj kay aya howa tha..
Kisi nay poocha kay kiya ap doolha hain ?

Us nay jawab diya: Jee Nahi! main SEMI FINAL main har gaya tha..

**Raheel** · #**105** 26-05-2010, 05:52 PM

Wakeel: Tum nay Police Officer ki hatheli per jalti howi Cigarette kion rakhi ?

Prisoner: Is nay kaha “Kaam kervana hay to pehlay Muthi Garam kero…

****

New Style of Proposing:

Boy: Can I take a photo of you ?

Girl: But why ?

Boy: I would like to show my children, how their mom looked in her younger age.

****

Akbar: Anaar Kali! Bata tujhay kiya chahiye ? Taaj ya Takht ?

Anaar Kali: Huzoor Wala! Mujhay na Taaj chahiye na Takht, bus ek UPS lagwa dain meherbani hogi.

****

Why is a teacher status greater as compared to a mother ?

Because a mother can put only one child to sleep, but a lecturer can put the whole class to sheep.

****

LOVE:

Is like an electronic product..
But
Made in China..

NO WARRANTY
NO GUARANTEE

Chalay to Chand tak..
Nahi to Shaam tak..

****

Difference between Friend and Lover...

You can tell your friend “You are my best friend”
But
Do you have courage to tell your lover “You are my best lover”

TRYING IN INJURIOUS

****

A FACT!

What is the heaviest burden of Life ?

--
--
--

An empty Pocket..

(By William Kangla)

****

Dada apnay Potay say: Baita! Tumharay teacher aa rahay hain tum kaheen chup jao..

Pota: Dada Jee! Pehlay ap kaheen chup jayen mainay ap kay INTIQAL ka bahana bana ker 2 haftay ki chutti lee thi…

****

Teacher: Batao bachon jo galat kaam kertay hain wo kahan jatay hain ?

Student (Sharmatay howay): Miss wo Quaid e Azam ki Mazaar, Askari Park or Alladin Park jatay hain….

****

Doctor: Ap ko thand lagti hay to ap kiya kertay hain ?

Memon: Main heater kay paas ja ker beth jata hoon..

Doctor: Agar phir bhi thand lagay to ?

Memon: To phir heater on ker daita hoon..

****

Teacher: Africa main aisay sheher bhi hain jahan per Khanay Peenay ka kuch nahi, Bijli, Gas, Oil bhi nahi or pehen’nay ko kapray bhi nahi hain..

Papu: Miss! Kya wahan bhi PPP ki hukoomat hay ?

****

Friend is one who advice you to study well..
But
Best friend is one who calls you from door of exam hall and say:
“Abay Top keray ga kiya ? Jaldi bahir aa teri wali ja rahi hay”

****

Zindagi ka Asool:

Agar koi ap ko pathar maray to aap ka farz hay kay aap us per

“PHOOL PHAINKO”

Lekin yad rahay… Phool gamlay samait phainkna hay..

****

Do lovers Park nain bethay chips kha rahay thay.. Ankhon main ankhain dalay..

Girl: (Sharma kay) Ap itnay ghor say kiya dekh rahay ho ?

Boy: Meri tarah thora thora ker kay kha na bhooki…

****

**Raheel** · #**106** 09-06-2010, 10:27 AM

Examiner: Why are you under tension did you forget your Admit Card or Calculator ?

Student: No Sir! By mistake I brought tomorrow exam’s pharray today…

****

Please yeh message itna phailao kay meray Baitay tak pohonch jaye..

Yes ek Maa ki request hay!

..

..

..

“Raju Baita! Nihari kay saath 2 Nan bhi laitay ana”

****

There is nothing greater than Parents in this World...

So go get married fast and become Parents...

(Thing different, Do different)

****

Wife (Kitchen say): Ajee suntay ho! Main aj kal bohut Khoobsurat hoti ja rahi hoon..

Husband: Tumhay kis nay kaha ?

Wife: Meri khoobsurti dekh ker Rotiyan bhi jalnay lagi hain…

****

Boy: Why did Ghandi Jee have no hair on his head ?

Teacher: It’s a sign of intelligence.

Boy: O I see! Now I understand why girls have so long hair..

****

Master (Bachon ko parhatay howay): Dekho bachon! Yeh “M” hay, M say mother banta hay, Jaisay Sheeday ki Maa…
Doosray din Master nay Blackboard per “W” likh ker poocha: Batao yeh kiya hay ?

1 bachay nay jawab diya: Sir! Hay to yeh Sheeday ki Maa magar ap nay isay ulta ker diya hay…

****

Ek Film Actress apnay Father ki death kay baad Ro Ro ker behaal ho gayee..

Taziyat kay liye anay walay Producer nay dilasa detay howay kaha: Sabar kero Bibi! Dekho tum nay apni kiya halat ker di hay…

Film Actress: Sir! Yeh to kuch bhi nahi hay, ap us waqt meri performance dekhtay jis waqt Janaza uth raha tha…

****

Teacher nay ek bachay ki Maa ko note likha: “Isay Nehla ker bheja kerain”

Bachay ki Maa nay Note parh ker peechay reply kiya: “Ap bachay ko parhaya kerain Soongha na kerain”

****

Teacher: What’s your father do ?

Sardar: I.C.S in Summer and P.C.S in Winter.

Teacher: Kiya Matlub ?

Sardar: Ice Cream Sale in Summer and Pakoray Chips Sale in Winter.

****

Wife: Sirf meray liye he Pan kion lay rahay ho ? Apnay liye bhi Lo…

Husband: Main bina Pan khaye bhi Chup reh sakta hoon… :D

****

Question: The most Laziest person of the World ?

Answer: The one who invented SNOOZE option in the Alarm…

****

After having a tough day, Mary complained to her brother , “Nobody loves me! “Whole World hates me”

Her brother, occupied playing a game , hardly looks at her and passes this encouraging comment, “That’s not true Mary, some people don’t even know you”

****

Most people have 5 Senses, some have 6 Senses…

But a genius like you is blessed with 7, an extra sense is “NON SENSE”

****

Class Teacher nay Students ko “MY CLASS TEACHER” per 10 lines likhnay ko kaha…

Thori dair baad ek bachay nay uth ker poocha: Sir! THARKI ko English main kiya kehtay hain ?

****

“Damn True”

Just when we sit down to study, everything else on earth gets so interested..

Even just starring at the Wall…

****

Difference between Horror & Beautiful:

A beautiful night is when you hug your Teddy Bear and Sleep….

But Horror is when it hugs you back…

****

Zindagi ki Qeemat ka andaza NOUT kay baad he hota hay..

For Example:

Zinda Chicken: 150/= Rupees

Chiken Tandoori: 520/= Rupees

****

When I was a child, so many girls wanted to kiss me, I allowed them,

But now I wanted to kiss so many girls, they don’t allow me to kiss..

Moral:

Girls are Selfish…

****

Agar ap kay pass BELT na ho aur ap ki PENT dheeli ho, to usay girnay say bachanay ka sab say asaan tareeqa yeh hay kay..

..

..

..

Pent kay upper underwear pehen lo..

(William Superman)

****

An Old Lady gave the bus driver Peanuts to eat… that’s happened for several times….

The driver said: Why have you given me such wonderful peanuts to eat ? why don’t you eat them yourself ?

Old Lady replied: I don’t have teeth to munch them…

Bus Driver: Then why you bought them ?

Old Lady: I just love the chocolate around them..

YUCKK

**.BZU.** · #**107** 28-09-2010, 07:48 PM

Aik sawal ka jawab dain gay?
*
*
*
*
*
*Allah ki qasam Pepsi wala nahi hay.

Yeh bata dain ke Munni kiyon badnam hoi?

----------------------

Aik sawal ka jawab dain gay?
*
*
*
*
*
*Allah ki qasam Pepsi wala nahi hay.

Bas yeh bata dain ke apke pass 35 paisay hain..

**Raheel** · #**108** 28-09-2010, 09:19 PM

Super Hit question of 2010..

Larkiyan jab roti hain to Ankhon kay bajaye Moun per kion haath rakhti hain ?

Comments..

**sadia** · #**109** 30-09-2010, 01:24 PM

Bas bohat ho gia
Ab ager tum ne sms nhi kia
.
.
.
To
?
?
To main charpai se chalang lga ker khudkushi ker lon gi,
.
urte hue jahaz k niche a jaon gi,
.
sukhi neher main doob jaon gi,
.
table fan se rassi bandh k phansi charh jaon gi,
.
disprin ki goli kha k khudkushi ker lon gi,
.
zehreli dawai(Dew 1.5 liter) pi lon gi,

ager..

tum ne meri baat na mani to is k zimedar tum ho gi..

---------- Post added at 01:23 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:22 PM ----------

Tum paas aaye
Yuon muskarye
Apne 32 Daant dikhaye
Dekh ke mera dil
Phoot phoot ke rota hai
Yaar tumse brush bhi
dhang se nahi hota hai

---------- Post added at 01:24 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:23 PM ----------

Shama ro ro ker pervaane se keh rahi hai,
Shama ro ro ke pervaane se keh rahi hai
Mujhe rumaal laa ke dedo, meri naak beh rahi hai.

**usman_latif_ch** · #**110** 05-10-2010, 04:44 PM

yeh mere paaon hain
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
itni der dabane ka shukriya