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Old 04-11-2009, 01:14 PM
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Red face Kiss (funny read)


There is a general feeling in the public that IISc/IIT students
are fundu., unassumingly lost in thought almost all the time.
And girls fare no better in this respect. So let us see what a
Non IISc/IITain may face when he marries a girl from IISc/IIT
campus.



SCENE: First night of the marriage.
CHARACTERS: IISc/IIT Bride and Non IISc/IIT Groom.

The Groom approaches the Bride and proposes to kiss her. So
letus see what would be her reaction..

GIRL FROM DEPT OF PHYSICS: "Well kissing is relative. You
can kiss me with respect to me or with respect to you. First
define how you are going to kiss. You can kiss me by treating me in
the same reference frame as you are or treating me in a
different inertial frame by producing waves of motion through
your lips. How do you prefer?


The guy faints.


GIRL FROM DEPT OF MATHEMATICS: "Kissing is fine. YOu can
kissme provided you satisfy the following conditions. Necessary
conditions: You should be close to me by a distance delta
where delta is greater than zero and the limit for delta tends to
zero and you satisfy the closure property. Sufficient
conditions: You should have lips.Where the number of lips is
neither more than two nor less than two. You can also kiss by
defining your hand to be me if and only if you satisfy the
above conditions.


The guy goes mad.


GIRL FORM ECOLOGICAL SCIENCES: "Oh Kissing, that is
interesting phenomena that occurs in nature. This is an initiaing process
for sex not only found in homosapiens but also in all
heterosapiens, mammals, camels, vertebrates invertebrates and
instects. Out of 1000 ants observed in a closed laboratory in
Zuvinich in Yugoslavia 90% of them seem to involve in the
process of kissing but the subsequence is very random with
probability
0.672139 that a male ant kiss female ant. First observe the
behaviour of ants and cockroaches under various conditions.
That will be very interesting . Isnt't it.



The guy has an heart attack.


GIRL FROM CS(Computer Science): "You want to kiss me. That
is fine I assume that you know the algorithm for that very well. But
you have to complete the process within 56.22 seconds or else
connection will be timed out. To optimise the timing lets do
parallel processing. As we have to discuss about our future
and other things, let us do the process of discussion
foreground and why can't you put the process of Kissing
background?"


The guy applies for divorce.


GIRL from EE(Electrical Engineering) : "So you would like to
kiss me. The process of kissing is an age old communication
process. The information content of the signal transmitted
from one pair of lips to the other is more if the probability of
the event (of kissing) is less. Hence take care. If you want a
successful communication between us, you should kiss me less
often. If the information content is to be infinite, you
should never kiss me at all!"

The guy is found hanging from a fan next day.
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