Some Funny Definitiions

[Foki]

MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement
wherein
a man loses his bachelor degree
and a woman gains her master

LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information
from the notes of the lecturer
to the notes of students
without passing through the minds
of either




CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man
multiplied by the
number present





COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing
a cake in such a way that
everybody believes
he got the biggest piece




TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which
masculine will power is
defeated by feminine water-power!





DICTIONARY:
A place where divorce comes
before marriage




CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks,
nobody listens
and everybody disagrees later on




ECSTASY:
A feeling when you feel
you are going to feel
a feeling
you have never felt before




CLASSIC:
A book
which people praise,
but never read





SMILE:
A curve
that can set
a lot of things straight!





OFFICE:
A place
where you can relax
after your strenuous
home life




YAWN:
The only time
when some married men
ever get to open
their mouth




ETC:
A sign
to make others believe
that you know
more than
you actually do




COMMITTEE:
Individuals
who can do
nothing individually
and sit to decide
that nothing can be done
together





EXPERIENCE:
The name
men give
to their
Mistakes




ATOM BOMB:
An invention
to bring an end
to all
inventions




PHILOSOPHER:
A fool
who torments himself
during life,
to be spoken of
when dead



DIPLOMAT:
A person
who tells you
to go to hell
in such a way
that you actually look forward
to the trip





OPPORTUNIST:
A person
who starts taking bath
if he
accidentally falls
into a river




OPTIMIST:
A person
who while falling
from EIFFEL TOWER
says in midway
"SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"




PESSIMIST:
A person
who says that
O is the last letter
in ZERO,
Instead of the first letter
in OPPORTUNITY




MISER:
A person
who lives poor
so that
he can die RICH!





FATHER:
A banker
provided by
nature




CRIMINAL:
A guy
no different
from the other,
unless he gets caught




BOSS:
Someone
who is early
when you are late
and late
when you are early




POLITICIAN:
One who
shakes your hand
before elections
and your Confidence
Later




DOCTOR:
A person
who kills
your ills
by pills,
and kills you
by his bills!!