BZU PAGES: Find Presentations, Reports, Student's Assignments and Daily Discussion; Bahauddin Zakariya University Multan Right Header

HOME BZU Mail Box Online Games Radio and TV Cricket All Albums
Go Back   BZU PAGES: Find Presentations, Reports, Student's Assignments and Daily Discussion; Bahauddin Zakariya University Multan > Entertainment & Enjoyment > Chit Chat

Notices

Chit Chat Everybody loves a bit of randomness, care to share yours? Any one Else can talk here.


Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rate Thread Display Modes
  #1  
Old 04-04-2009, 09:30 AM
usman_latif_ch's Avatar
Senior Member

 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Lahore
Age: 39
Posts: 6,663
Contact Number: 03009441339, 03334146191
Program / Discipline: Engineering
Class Roll Number: BME-01083029 (The University Of Lahore)
usman_latif_ch has a reputation beyond reputeusman_latif_ch has a reputation beyond reputeusman_latif_ch has a reputation beyond reputeusman_latif_ch has a reputation beyond reputeusman_latif_ch has a reputation beyond reputeusman_latif_ch has a reputation beyond reputeusman_latif_ch has a reputation beyond reputeusman_latif_ch has a reputation beyond reputeusman_latif_ch has a reputation beyond reputeusman_latif_ch has a reputation beyond reputeusman_latif_ch has a reputation beyond repute
Smile Some Management Jokes

Some Management Jokes

Name:  nqy2iv.jpg
Views: 545
Size:  22.9 KB
Twenty New Management Styles in Corporates
1) MANAGING BY WALKING FASTER THEN THE EMPLOYEES
These kind of managers you will always see in the corridor, ten steps away. "We'll have to talk" you can hear them say, just as they have disappeared around the corner.


2) MANAGING BY STARING OUT OF THE WINDOW
These managers you usually meet with their backside faced to you with their hands in their pockets. When you talk to them, their thoughts keep staring out of the windows.


3) MANAGING BY POST-IT'S
Some managers forget everything. They want to impress you with their 'busy'ness by continuously writing on Post-it's while you are talking.


4) MANAGING BY DELEGATION TO THE SECRETARY
These managers just delegate everything to the secretary. If He is good, He knows what she must do.


5) MANAGING BY KNOWING NOTHING
These managers don't really know anything at all. They let YOU give answers. Meanwhile they fill the time with nice anecdotes of irrelevant cases.


6) MANAGING BY CONCEPTUAL THINKING
These people try to explain the present from a theoretical view of the far future. The idea that this never will work, completely satisfies them: They will always have something to talk about.


7) MANAGING BY HIDING INFORMATION
Information hiders are aware of the market value of strictly secret kept information. You must be very thankful to get any information at all. Beware of simulants from category 5!


8) MANAGING BY DOING EXACTLY WHAT THE BOSS SAYS
These managers prevent their bosses from creative thinking. Else they got more work to do.


9) MANAGING BY WALKING ONE FOOT BEHIND THE BOSS
In hierarchical organizations you can watch those groups walking in the corridor. The more equal managers are directly followed by the lesser equal managers, and so on.


10) MANAGING BY SMILING AND WEARING NICE SUITS
If you drink beer with them, lunch with them, smile to them and also wear nice suits, nothing can stop your career anymore.


11) MANAGING BY STUDYING
Despite their continual attendances of all kind of studies and congresses, they still belong to category 5. The longer they learn, the further they get from the practice.


12) MANAGING BY CREATING VAGUE OVERHEAD SHEETS
Do you know them? Those sheets with some big arrows, boxes or circles? These sheets provide the ultimate proof of their overall brilliance.


13) MANAGING BY OPEN DOOR AND EMPTY ROOM
This is a major improvement of the older 'OPEN DOOR' management style. Now you can really walk in and out anytime you want. Nobody ever knows where these managers are.


14) MANAGING BY SPEAKING WITH OTHER MANAGERS
This kind of managing is very popular. It will give them within a few hours the same information as an employee can tell them in 15 minutes.


15) MANAGING BY HAVING A NON SUPPORTING INFRASTRUCTURE
In an organization with a hopeless infrastructure, managers are really necessary. These managers will naturally prevent the organization from having a better infrastructure.


16) BUA MANAGEMENT (BY USING ABBREVIATIONS)
This management style is ATRASACWOC. ( Adopted To Reach A Shorter And Clearer Way Of Communication )


17) MANAGING BY USING BUZZ WORDS
These managers like to bluff your head off with hip, nearly undefined, terms.


18) MANAGING BY REORGANIZATION
If they think there is nothing more to organize, they reorganize.


19) MANAGING BY BELIEVING
These managers must be spiritual educated, because they have no clues at all.


20) MANAGING BY FORGETTING PROMISES
If you remind them to one of their promisses, the priority of that promise is to low to remember.



__________________
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
jokes, management


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Interesting jokes .BZU. Quotes 0 19-04-2010 12:31 AM
Lec slide#4:Organizational Aspects of Management;MIB; Network Management OSI functional classification .BZU. Network Security Management 1 22-02-2010 10:44 PM
More jokes Foki Quotes 0 30-01-2010 02:27 PM
Funny Jokes Foki Quotes 0 02-11-2009 11:26 PM
sardar jokes: ghazala Quotes 0 13-06-2009 01:07 PM

Best view in Firefox
Almuslimeen.info | BZU Multan | Dedicated server hosting
Note: All trademarks and copyrights held by respective owners. We will take action against any copyright violation if it is proved to us.

All times are GMT +5. The time now is 02:16 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.